Physiologically, I don’t have too much trouble with the biannual clock switching involved with daylight saving time (DST). I adjust pretty quickly. It becomes much more inconvenient when you have small children or pets in the house. The little brains behind the sad eyes don’t understand why breakfast is an hour late or why you’re not up and ready to play an hour early. But even this is manageable.
No, my objections to DST are on veracious grounds. It’s simply a lie.1 The true problem with DST is the indignity of being forced to deny the reality of nature in favor of a fiction that comforts the deranged (I’m talking about golfers, of course). So, take to the streets! It’s time to demand a return to sanity!
A Brief History of Trans-Time
In the United States, summer DST was first mandated nationwide toward the end of WWI by Woodrow Wilson. It had already been instituted by European belligerents as a fuel conservation measure. The opposite of what I was taught in school, DST was unpopular with farmers, because there was less daylight time in the morning for trivial things like milking the cows and getting crops to market. After the war, the law was repealed over Wilson’s veto.
Yet DST lived on, just on the local level. Famously, New York City maintained it, while outlying parts of the state did not. But after the US entered WWII, FDR brought it back nationally—known as War Time—and it lasted until autumn after the war ended.
Once again, the clock-changing decisions were restored to the states and municipalities. But having time itself unregulated at the federal level led to a lot of confusion and inconvenience. So, in 1966, Lyndon Johnson signed the Uniform Time Act, instituting the system most of us are familiar with today. Arizona and Michigan held out, but Michigan eventually caved.
The 1973 oil embargo led to another scarcity-fueled experiment: permanent DST. It started in January 1974 and ended in April 1975, after school children kept dying while on the way to school before dawn. It went back to being a seasonal affair.
The starting and ending dates of seasonal DST have fluctuated since then, but that’s where we are today.
The Wagie Yearns for the Cagie
There are a lot of good data-driven reasons to oppose DST, but I don’t care about them and more importantly neither does anyone who supports DST. The standard argument in favor of DST usually boils down to something like “Give light me give see light me see light give me see light give me you.” There’s really no arguing against this reasoning in a democracy; it’s pretty much flawless. Morning light may be better for your health than evening light, and kids may die on the way to school in the dark, but don’t you dare take that extra hour of light after work when I sit in the living room watching cable news until I realize that it’s gotten dark and I should turn on some lights before the glare of the TV gives me eye strain. Don’t get me wrong, I like being able to take a walk with the family after dinner. It’s a nice activity. But it’s okay if nice things can only be done for 4 months out of the year instead of 6.
The intransigence of the pro-DST side is particularly frustrating because it shines a light on everything else that’s wrong with society and why nothing ever gets fixed. Everyone knows that DST does not actually create more light, at least I hope they do. So the real problems are asset (daylight) allocation and social coordination (time). Solutions to these problems vary from case to case. One business may be able to adjust hours pretty easily, another relies on daylight to work outdoors. Some activities could be done just as easily, and maybe more enjoyably, before work than after. Go work out or play some basketball, or tennis, or golf before work. (I suspect that half the problem people have waking up in the morning is the result of being conditioned to stay up later than they should.) Not everything needs to be standardized. Time can be local.
Unfortunately, most people want easy solutions, even if they’re far from perfect; even if they require the acceptance of lunacy. The wagie must be dragged kicking and screaming out of his cagie.
Revolutionary action is required.
Modest Proposals for Tearing Down Temporal Tyranny
We must eliminate federal DST, seasonal or otherwise.
Municipalities should establish their own official time based on solar noon.
Set your analog watch to the sun and say “screw everyone else, my time is what matters”
Using advanced technology that I hear so much about and is supposed to improve our lives, people could set their own clocks to the sun and tech could seamlessly translate that time in relation to other people and appointments.
Better yet:
We could throw away clocks altogether and live like savage forest children.
Go, do your part! Demand and end to DST and reap the benefits! The children you have because your wife got a better night’s sleep will thank you!2
Time zones are a lie too—where I live, “noon” is closer to 12:30–but at least it’s a noble lie. Time zones facilitate a minimum level of coordination, they’re regional, but I suspect they become less and less convenient the closer you live to the edge of one. I’m willing to jettison them too.
“The impact of sleep on female sexual response and behavior: a pilot study.” https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25772315/
I am with you all the way on this one. The sheer arrogance of demanding twice a year that we collectively agree to alter our perception of the times and the seasons is breathtaking. I don't undress why we don't stay on standard time and just let people set their own schedules.